A little disturbed . . .

I don't know exactly what I want to say right now but I just have an icky feeling and I need to process it somehow. Through facebook I have come across some blogs recently, mostly from LDS women, and I the phrase "in the end, perilous times shall come" keeps going through my head. Usually it's because a page that I subscribe to has commented on one of the posts or something and I read the blog post because I am curious. I am coming across lots of stuff written by members in open defiance of things that have come directly from the 1st Presidency or scriptural Doctrine. On of these bloggers says "I'm either a complete apostate Mormon, or I'm just saying what we are all thinking". Believe me I'm not trying to make myself feel better about my own spiritual standing by comparing myself to these women and what they are thinking and publishing - I am just genuinely shocked. I know it's hard to be a stalwart member of the LDS church. But you know what? Whoop-Di-Freaking-Doo! We need to pull ourselves up and do what we need to do! When things get spelled out for us so clearly by people we believe truly communicate with the Lord, I don't think it's THAT hard to follow. Certainly we are always encouraged to gain a testimony for ourselves on different issues - that is a part of learning and progressing in this life, and that process happens more slowly than we would like sometimes - but I just don't understand how easy it is (apparently) to misunderstand. And part of my mood is no doubt influenced by the fact that one by one, many of the people that have played immensely important roles in my life and were true examples to me have stepped away from the Church completely. Many are now openly fighting the church. I'm talking endowed RMs. I don't get it. I don't get how someone can KNOW (and I know they knew . . . I heard them bear powerful testimony) and then walk away. Or take a true Eternal Principle and use it to justify things totally contrary. It is disturbing and frightening to me. I don't worry so much for myself, but I do worry for my girls and how to guide them and nurture them properly so that they can truly "endure to the end". I have known for quite sometime that finding friends in the church doesn't necessarily mean they will be quality friends who will lift, encourage, and support my faith. Truly embracing the values we teach isn't always what people do, and sometimes members of other faiths can be just as stalwart in those values, if not more so. In fact my best friend is a baptist. I just really had no CLUE there was this much division in the Church. It saddens me.